


Still

by hawkesprite



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, POV Second Person, takes place between here there be gerblins and the suffering game.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 04:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11200101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkesprite/pseuds/hawkesprite
Summary: Magnus dreams. Julia lets go. Taako snores.





	Still

One night, you have a dream.

You don’t usually dream. You’re more of a power nap kind of guy--always have been, as far back as you can remember--so your nights don’t bring dreams just because you don’t need that much sleep. You figure there wouldn’t be much to dream about, anyways--dreams are abstract and you don’t have time for that. Dreams, like so many things, are for other people.

But tonight you dream.

It’s a strange sensation. You’re all at once aware and unaware, asleep and awake, groggy and alert and anxious and calm and you’re not even kind of used to it but you seem to be in control so you think you’re okay, probably. You squint your eyes but your glare fails to cut through the dark purple haze. No, not haze--it’s too thick for that. This is liquid. You’re in some kind of pool or lake, maybe, suspended and strangely warm.

Then a round, brown palm reaches towards you through the swirling darkness and you watch as yours reaches back but your body is not pulled to the surface; instead, a round, brown arm follows the hand and head follows the arm and a cloud of black hair fills the space behind a round, brown woman with round, brown eyes and a small smile.

She is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

You try to speak but tears come out instead and she reaches her hand--still calloused, after all these years--to rest against your cheek and as you lean your head into her your body remembers all at once how wonderful it feels to be held, how much you’ve missed this--how much you’ve missed her. You bring your eyes to hers and she’s smiling, still, but the corners of her mouth crease a little and you think were it not for the water there would be tears cascading down her still-smooth cheeks, still as round as the rest of her. 

Just like you remember. You hands are still intertwined and you reach your arm around to pull her into a tight hug like she’s always loved and the two of you just float for a moment, tears intermingling in the darkness, letting the joy and pain and relief wash over you both.

She pulls back after a few seconds to look at you, lips and brows pulling her face in opposite directions as she opens her mouth to speak.

You don’t hear it so much as know it. You can’t quite see her lips form the words but you hear them in her voice and it nearly breaks you.

“Magnus.”

You’re sobbing now, struggling to keep your eyes open.

“Magnus, I’m sorry, but we don’t have much time.”

You manage a nod. Your body, even in its convulsing cries, doesn’t want to leave this moment, with her arms around you and yours around her so perfect and warm but you nod and again she speaks.

“Magnus...I’ve been watching all this time, honey. I hope you know that I’m so proud of you.”

You smile through your tears and she does too, and for a moment her eyes shine like the moons before her face falls a little.

“But I know you’ve been holding yourself back for a while because you feel like a starting something new would be disrespectful, like cheating or abandoning me or something.”

You bite your lip and your eyes close, shame filling you. You slipped once, a few years back. You just got tipsy and kissed someone at a bar. It wasn’t serious and nothing followed and you've guarded yourself carefully since then but you have never really forgiven yourself for the transgression.

Julia pats your back gently. “I know. Stay with me, Mags. I just...want you to know that it’s okay. I want you to be happy and I know how much you need this kind of thing.”

You nod in wonder and flinch a little when she brings her hand up to stroke your hair softly.

“I know you, honey, and I really do want you to go be happy. You deserve a life that’s not only about me. I love you and I miss you but I know we’ll see each other again and until then just...I need you to let yourself find love if it comes to you.”

She smiles again, her gaze softening. “And I’ll be here to meet them when it’s time.”

And then...she’s gone. You blink once.....twice. You’re back in your room on the moon, according to the warm sheets on your bare back and the strange sanitary smell and the vents in the ceiling. You touch your face: wet. As you listen you know that Taako is below you, snoring gently, and as you turn your head you see your dwarven friend out cold on his belly, his tattooed butt shamelessly making an escape from his nightclothes.

Maybe tomorrow you’ll ask Merle what this means. Whether it’s possible. Whether it’s real.

Tonight, though, you sleep, and as your eyes close and your body settles you breathe and ache and  
everything  
is  
still.


End file.
